What is Feminism? **Contains Adult Content

*This blog contains pictures of adult nature.

What is feminism?

That's a loaded question that encompasses many varying aspects.  To try to summarize feminism in one blog would be a bit overwhelming.  However, there was a certain subject brought to my attention that has now spawned this blog.

If you don't know me personally, I'm a conservative woman.  I believe in a woman having the right to choose whether she wants to stay at home with her children or be an equal force in the workplace.  And I believe both are noble decisions.  Sometimes it is up to a woman to be mother, father, and breadwinner for her children.

This blog often chronicles my fight against "the media machine," which often paints an unrealistic image of beauty and tells our young girls to fulfill it.  I like to lean on the positive side and provide awareness of the ideals smothered into the air that we breathe.  In other words, I like to keep it real.

I will never be a bra burner.  I, personally, would like my boobs to stay somewhere in the vicinity of my chest for most of my life.

Most of my time is spent without make-up working hard, but I love to dress up in pretty heels, red lipstick, and a wiggle dress.  That's what makes being a woman fun.

My mind has been cranking around a certain feminist who is causing an uproar.  Her name is Petra Collins and she contributes to a women's blog on the Huffington Post website.

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/petra-collins/why-instagram-censored-my-body_b_4118416.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false)

 The two of us have many things in common when it comes to our beliefs of the damage that the Hollywood machine produces.  The over-sexualization of women is a large component of what we share in our beliefs.  And yet I hugely disagree with how she chooses to conduct her battle.

The article above chronicles how her Instagram account was shut down for this photo:

As you can tell from the photo, she has decided to go "all natural" with her personal grooming and is showcasing said decision.  She is personally offended by the commentary of people on how disgusting it is, and puts the blame back on the people making the comments.  Finger pointing aside, I ask of her, "What do you hope to accomplish with this photo?"  I would think her response would be something to the affect of, "I hope to break down the walls of stereotype and force people to accept something outside of the norm as beautiful."

She is also known for a controversial t-shirt wherein a drawing depicts a woman sexually pleasuring herself while menstruating:

As a fellow woman, I feel embarrassed.  

To me, this is nothing but convoluting the fight.

Let's refocus, ladies.  And I do mean it.  Let's be ladies again.

How can we ever expect to receive respect when we don't show ourselves respect?  Use your brains, your wit, and your abilities to accomplish great things.  Be a woman of charity and kindness, not a facilitator of controversy.  Be beautiful without belittling the temple that is your body.  Own your rights to your body from the beginning when you make the choice to be sexually active.  Reserve the right to say no, because you're a woman who wants more than a one-night stand.  Don't wait until you're already pregnant to decide to take responsibility for the gift of motherhood.

Think of the most powerful women in the world.  Do you think they would ever be associated with things so crude?  Consider any First Lady or world leader.  It would be beneath them, and it should be beneath you.

That doesn't mean you can't be pretty or sexy, but we all know that line between self-respect and none.  Your vagina has nothing to do with equality.  Isn't that the point?

So put it away and start looking up to better role models.

Video Retouching Leak

I've written in my blog about photoshop and how it is used rampantly in magazines.  Not for small things like pimples or bruises, but for major body touch-ups.  I don't think anyone is surprised by those adjustments.  We live with it, we know it exists, and yet it still gets under our skin.

There has been a leak from Hoax Films regarding the latest Britney Spears video, "Work B*#ch."  The studio allegedly pre-released some scenes from the video prior to the official release date.  After the video was released audiences began to notice that Britney was noticeably better toned and in better shape than the clips.

In the past Britney Spears has actually come forward and chosen to show altered photos of herself seen below:

She has spoken out against photoshop in the past, although her team of producers, managers, agents, etc., would never allow her to be seen without digital alteration.  But I find this latest expose shocking.

I honestly did not think nor consider the idea that film would be digitally altered in that way.  We already know that reality TV is far from reality.  Now we're learning that film is farther from reality than we could think.  Those stars moving around on your television and movie screens are altered.

Altered.

On a personal note, may I say, that's not fair.  It's not fair to the public.  It's infuriating how much of an ideal is set before us and is sold and created as being true.  It's no wonder that so many eating disorders exist.  Not even these stars look the way they insist they do.

At award shows, don't be fooled.  Those celebrities have spent literally hours being tucked, pinched, and layered with make-up to appear perfect.  They've gone through crash "cleanse" diets.  And, of course, never rule out plastic surgery.

This is an intriguing article to read regarding the film altering industry, which is kept extremely hush hush:  http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/burning-britney-spears-only-star-put-digital-diet-014519004.html

We can't unlearn what is our culture.  It's permanently ingrained in us what is considered beautiful and perfect.  There is a part of me that wonders if Britney Spears purposefully let this leak.  She's been vocal in the past, and she is one of very few stars who has openly shown before and after photos.  Could this be her under-the-radar way of telling us how it really is?  Who better to trust that the one that nearly lost her mind due to the industry?  She would know best.

With this knowledge, how does that make you feel?  I feel cheated and lied to.  Granted, I understand that these celebrities are in great shape, especially since the camera really does add ten pounds.  But, again, we are being fooled.  Hollywood is selling us a fantasy, and we're buying it as reality.

We can't trust anything we see.

That weighs in my stomach like lead.

Lies at every photo.  In every film.

Where does it stop?  Or is it what we want?  Do we like buying the fantasy?  But the real question remains: do we really know where reality stops and fantasy starts?  And if we don't, what unfulfillable expectations have we created for ourselves?

Fat Actress

I first hit the stage at age 11.  Twenty years later, I'm still acting.  Anytime I see a stage, I have this internal need to be on it.  I'm one of those people who (I believe) was literally created to do what I do.  I don't think that's egotistical to say either.  It's in my blood.  I've fought hard in my adult life to be where I am today: performing, managing a theater, and providing entertainment year round.  But there was one point in my life when I almost quit it all.

After graduating college, I started auditioning for local theater.  It wasn't easy moving to a new city by myself.  Theater is a very small world and I was having a hard time being given a chance.  I did just enough to be one of those freak stories where I was seen on stage and the next day I had an agent.  This was the ultimate dream for a recent college grad.  But the rose colored glasses were shattered quickly.

It didn't take long for me to see the underside of the entertainment industry on a small scale.  Dallas is by NO means L.A., but it was enough for me.  When you are in your in your 20s in entertainment, you have to be beautiful and sexual.  If not, you won't get much.  That's the reality of it.  I found myself calling up my agent prior to a callback for a national host position, because I didn't believe in how it portrayed women.  They were bikini clad and taking body shots off of each other as they giggled.

With a small athletic hour glass figure, I was edited out of a test shoot for a possible national commercial because I was "fat."  There were other factors that quickly led me to the conclusion that film/commercial was not for me.

You may have recently heard Jennifer Lawrence reveal to Harper's Bazaar that she has been called fat. This was prior to her "Hunger Games" fame.  She's honest about how it hurt and still stings to this day. I have to admit, I have a big girl crush on J. Law.  One of the things that I, and most of her female fans, like about her is her irreverence for "the machine."  She's quirky and weird.  Definitely doesn't fit in.  And she's beautiful, fit, and FAR from fat.

(For more about her interview, click here: http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/jennifer-lawrence-being-called-fat-extreme-way-she-161505732.html)

Other actresses/entertainers have been called fat, such as Christina Aguilera, Christina Hendricks, Ashley Judd, and Lady Gaga just to name a few.  Remember Tyra Banks and her infamous bathing suit photo?  Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson were attacked for the weight they gained while pregnant.

There isn't a lot we can do to the stop the media machine.  For whatever reason, it is convinced that beautiful equals underweight.  Some days I consider that it might have been cowardly for me to quit film/commercial rather than fight.  I had an audition not too long ago (the first in YEARS in that medium), and all I could think about was how "fat" I was compared to the other women.  I've gained weight since my size four days, and I can't imagine myself ever being cast in a film or commercial now.

Since we can't stop the machine, we need to focus our thoughts against it.  It's easy to inhale what is on TV or the internet, but stop before you criticize next time.  What if you were in their position?  What if your weight defined you even more than it already does?  What if your job was determined by how much you weigh?  What if you lost your job because you gained 10lbs?

What do you think of the critiques of these entertainers?  Do they deserve that pressure as a sacrifice for the money and fame?

Abercrombie vs. H&M: Diversity or Exclusivity?

Abercrombie

When I was younger, Abercrombie was just getting going and its popularity was outrageous.  Personally I've never been a fan.  I don't like plastering company names all over my body, but most everyone owned at least one Abercrombie shirt.  I also never liked all of the naked people (sometimes minors posing so explicitly) to attract sales.  Admittedly, I have only stepped foot into an Abercrombie & Fitch store twice in my life.  I don't bother shopping there, because I am well aware that my butt won't fit in their pants.

And that's on purpose.

The CEO of the clothing chain, Mike Jeffries, purposefully does not want "fat" people in his store.  He recently made headlines, because he refuses to produce clothing in XL or XXL.  He has a firm belief that his clothing should only be seen on attractive, thin people.  It is his way of preserving his brand.  In an interview with Salon.com, he stated the following:

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,” he told Salon.

In case you were curious as to what this man looks like (since he deems himself to be some sort of gauge for what is attractive), here is my gift to you:

Some critics have been very harsh on his physical appearance after what appears to be at least one facelift and numerous plastic surgeries, even comparing him to the elephant man. I don't believe anyone gains anything of worth by such statements, although he is receiving from the world what he puts into it. What I believe this picture shows more strongly is a man whose essence is occupied with the physical. The surgeries reflect a fear of aging (perhaps even a hatred). The amount of work that he has had done is directly correlated to his feelings that you are only important or "cool" if you are beautiful...on the outside.

In my personal opinion, this man is failing on many accounts: psychological struggles resulting in distorted physical appearance, lack of acceptance of diversity, and now plummeting sales, which I will address shortly.

H&M

In a previous blog, I wrote about H&M using mannequins that look more like real women.  They are now using models that look like real women too.

Jennie Runk, a size 12 and plus size model, was chosen as their 2013 swimwear model.

H&M is actively expanding their empire in America and just recently made online shopping available.  For all of those that shop H&M and couldn't understand why it took so long to order online there's actually a very simple explanation.  The company is headquartered in Norway, and they did not have a large warehouse in America from which to ship.  Without that warehouse the company would have been unable to 1) house the clothing for short shipping times/distances and 2) with farther shipping the prices would have to go up, which would go against the whole point of shopping H&M.

Who is Bigger?

And I don't mean number of stores.  Abercrombie & Fitch's sizes have been under scrutiny, so I took it upon myself to do some research on sizing available for A&F as well as H&M.

                                                                  H&M                  A&F

Largest Women's Sizes available:             24              L (38" bust/31" waist)  

Largest Men's Sizes available:              XXL Shirt          XXL Shirt      < Look!  They agree on something!

                                                                                    40 Pants             36 Pants         < That didn't last long...

I personally found the men's clothing sizes very interesting.  They will carry a XXL shirt for men, but only up to a 36 pant, which means that XXL shirt is really intended for bulky gym guys not the average man.  From my experience as a costumer for many years, most grown men are between 38-42 in pant size.  H&M also carries maternity clothing online as well.  Pregnant women wearing Abercrombie clothing would not adhere to Jeffries' ideals. 

Who's on Top?

I recently read an article by Reuters press chronicling Abercrombie's steadily decreasing sales.  In August this year, Abercrombie reported a drop in sales by a whopping 10%.  That's huge.  This particular article was blaming the drop on teen shoppers: not as many teens have jobs, they are choosing to spend on electronics instead of clothing, etc.  I think it's more than that.

The exclusivity that Jeffries has embraced as the driving force of his brand is now crippling his company.  Whether he likes it or not, the general public is starting to reject his branding concept and embracing that of companies such as H&M.  Why would you want to shop in a store where you are being judged?  It is a growing belief of mine that a company's success is directly related to the core values of those that operate.  It's what differentiates a great company.

Although I'm beyond disposable clothing (which is what H&M is), I fully support the decisions they are making as a company.  They have a mixture of models.  Do they sometimes use women that are still ridiculously skinny?  Yes, they do.  I'm not blind to that.  It appears to be inescapable in the fashion industry (although I don't know why).  Successful branding is based in the concept that you are creating a lifestyle that people want to live, and I do not want to live Jeffries' lifestyle.  It seems his theory that to try to include everyone will mean disaster is certainly not true.

Where will you choose to shop?

#beautyandthecurves #abercrombie #hm #womensissues #loveyourbody

You Gotta Start Them Young

Every time I take a break from my blog, I seem to get various signs to get back to it.  So I am recommitting to write a new blog once a week.  Who knew people actually really like what I write?

Sometimes when you write a blog, a strange phenomenon occurs.  You begin to notice trends.  I bookmark articles, pictures, etc. when I come across something that may pertain to my blog.  I started writing this particular blog on a totally different subject, but I couldn't get pass the infiltration of beauty and sex in little girls' toys and cartoons.  The list became so long, I decided it deserved an entire blog.

It's something a man won't understand.  From the time we're little, we are trained to be beautiful.  It's rare that someone compliments a little girl by saying, "You're so smart."  It's usually more along the lines of "You're so pretty."  Little boys are "cute" but that's not what counts.  What counts for a boy is his size and strength.

So let's put it all together.  Sometimes it takes putting it in one place for a person to say, "Wow, that's a lot.  Never thought about it."

We all know that Barbie is ridiculous.  This is a link to a series of computer graphics to compare Barbie to a real person:

http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/barbie-vs-real-women-artist-slideshow/

Now we have the Bratz dolls with big heads, LOTS of makeup, dyed hair, and somewhat inappropriate clothing...

Babe?  I realize it's a "funny" take on Bebe, but guess what?  It's not funny.

And Disney got in hot water again when they tried to sexualize Merida from Brave.  And by sexualize, I mean they shrunk her waist which in turn enlarged the appearance of her chest and hips.  They also dipped her neckline, enlarged her lips, and gave her bedroom eyes..  So much for a rugged tomboy...

All of a sudden our beloved young tomboy is a sultry looking 20-something.

When I was little I was obsessed with The Little Mermaid.  (Side note: It's about to come out again in theaters, and it's like I'm eight years old again.)  However, I was always painfully aware of Ariel's skinny size.  She has a ridiculously small waist and great perky seashell boobies.  Unfortunately, Ariel is apparently hot property, so I can't seem to download a basic picture of her.  Who knew?  So if you have a hard time remembering what she looks like: 1) shame on you, 2) we can't be friends, and 3) click the link below:

http://movies.disney.com/the-little-mermaid

But perhaps this artistic (purposefully grotesque) version would be more accurate:

http://hachiyuki.deviantart.com/art/Ariel-251165603

Now, listen, I LOVE me some Disney princesses.  I was a big girly girl growing up and still love to dress up.  But I am fully aware that when I used to swim in the pool pretending to be Ariel, I used to try to stretch out my body so I would be skinny like her.  For others that are not as self aware, the realization of where this obsession begins might help us to teach our daughters the difference between reality and fantasy.  And we should get our little boys on that band wagon as well.

Ole honest Abe can't tell a lie, but whether the following quote came from Kate Winslet or not (one of my personal favorites actresses), it's still a beautiful sentiment:

Now That THAT'S Done

My last blog was more of a stream of consciousness.  Welcome to my brain!  Scary place, I'm sure.

I wanted to share the realization that I had.  Yes, I emotionally eat.  Really happy or feeling sad, I like to eat.  I like to "reward" myself.  When I sat down to write that blog I was dreaming of indulging in some chocolate ice cream of any sort possible.  Yet, once I had finished the blog, the desire was gone.  I actually went to bed afterwards.  I didn't want it anymore.

That reaction got me to thinking...writing is my distraction.  It's a little surprising given all of my hobbies of reading, sewing, etc.  Writing is not something that I have ever pursued with a purpose...until recently.  Personal events in the past have motivated to try my hand at some writing: short stories, novels, blogs...

I believe each person has an outlet that they can use to distract themselves from their temptations knocking on their doors.  And when I say temptations, I mean more than just food.  Writing, for me, pulls me mentally away from any spiraling path that my brain seems to insist on pulling me down.  Ever feel like that?  Like your mind has decided on a thought pattern and it won't shut up!

What is that hobby or past time for you?  If it's exercising, I am eternally jealous (but only a little since I'm not a fan of working out).  You might enjoy writing like I do, or jewelry making, or it could be as simple as watching a movie.  Whatever it may be, I strongly suggest you find that interest that bumps your brain away from your obsession and into a higher/different level of thinking.

In the meantime, I am trying to lose some weight to feel a little better about myself.  But I don't want to listen to anyone about "You have to eat this or that."  What if I don't want to go without carbs for ten days?  I'm a Taurus, so I can very stubborn when I want to be.  And this is one area where I want to be.  In the past I had a very restrictive diet, so I'm on this kick of "You can't tell me what to eat!"  But it's been about two and a half weeks.  Not long I know, but I've been working out 4-5 times a week.  Nothing huge...just 20 minutes three days of the week and 45 minutes two days a week.  But I'm moving.  And I'm resisting sugar, fried foods, and fast food.  So far, it's going fairly well.  My pants fit more comfortably, so I guess that's a good sign.  I'm now in the phase where I'm not sure that it's worth it, because I'm not seeing fast enough results.  But I'm going to turn away from quitting so soon.

Which is why you find me writing this morning.  See where I'm going with this?

I'm Gonna Cry Over Emotional Eating

You know, I post on here a lot about general concepts and words of encouragement.  Tonight I'm thinking I'm going to talk about the mush that haunts my brain.  Perhaps yours is the same?

So I gained some weight...putting me now at an 8.  Not my largest.  I was a size 10 when I entered college.  But it feels as though nothing's there to stop me from just continuing the gaining.  So then my brain kicks in.  Oh ladies....our brains work way too hard.  Would we all agree to that?  I am now followed by these constant thoughts:

You're going to get fat.
You can't fit in your pants.  Fatty.
What are you going to eat?  You gotta eat healthy.  Eat healthy.
But I want something that's good.
DON'T CARE!  Healthy, healthy, healthy.
Have you worked out today?  No?  What's your excuse?  Did you have an opportunity to?
You're tired?  Other people aren't too tired to work out.  Why can't you seem to do it?
What did you decide to eat?  You're still deciding?  Why??
I'd rather not eat than worry about it.
Now you're being ridiculous.  Of course you're going to eat.  You love food.
Yea...I'll eat.  Then I'll feel guilty.
So eat healthy.
Meh.
Fatty McFat Fat.

Whew.  Now...here's my brain after a bad day:

Wow, that was a horrible day.  What am I going to eat?
Wish I could just eat out and not worry about it, but that means drive thru.
You don't want to do that.  You need to eat better.
I want chocolate.  Chocolate makes me feel better.
Does it really?  Won't you then be upset and feel guilty?
Yea, probably.
Chocolate.
Chocolate Oreo Blast.
Stop doing that to yourself.  You don't want it.  You're just being emotional.
Well, YEA!  I'm upset.  Long day.  Don't I get to make myself feel better?
Fries might do the trick.
NO!  Not fries!  Anything but fries!!
Ok.  Chocolate Oreo Blast.
You think you're real funny, don't you?  I see what you did there.  You're making me think chocolate isn't such a bad idea.
Yep.  Did it work?
No.
Dang it.
What if I cry to you about it?  What if the only thing that makes me feel better is calories?
You're a sad person.
YES!  That's what I'm trying to tell you.
No, I didn't mean in that way.
Great!  Now I'm pathetic.  You're driving me further into the arms of chocolate.
Feel that handful of fat on your love handles?
Yea, and it makes me more sad.  Screw you and your healthy ways!  I deserve something that makes me happy.
CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!

But instead, I'm sitting here at my blog hashing this all out.  I mean, am I the only crazy woman who has these thoughts out there?  What frustrates me is that I feel like I have this conversation with myself 3-5 times a day.  A DAY.  It's utterly exhausting.  I hate that feeling of guilt and sadness.  When you're in shape, you're healthy and happy.  What a journey it is to get there though.  Whatever your personal definition of happy and healthy may be.

And I'm spent.

chocolate.

Sorry, just had to get one more out there.