The Story of Your Body

I spent this last weekend out in the country and had some free moments to myself to reflect.

There was a moment where I paused in the full length mirror and saw the 31 year old that I am.  I like the way I look, but for the first time I realized that my body looks a little different.  Meaning, it occurred to me that I don't look 18 anymore.  I was looking at a 30-something's body, and guess what?

I smiled.

Back in high school my favorite singer/songwriter was Ani DiFranco.  I own approximately ten of her albums.  I've definitely not kept up with her music like a devoted teenager would, but her songs have always stuck with me.   There was a certain lyric from her song "Jukebox" that came to mind.

her hair bears silent witness

to the passing of time

tattoos like mile markers

map the distance she has gone

winning some, losing some

I know some cancer survivors personally and on their bodies are scars.  Some are surgery scars, some are "tattoos" on their bodies used to mark where the chemo laser would need to be pointed every time.  Signs that their bodies have survived.

A more public example would be Elly Mayday.  

A college friend of mine sent me to a website telling her story.  At 25 years old she is battling cancer.  Although she started as a plus-size model for Forever Yours Lingerie (https://foreveryourslingerie.ca/), one year later Elly was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  She most recently underwent a nine hour operation to remove stomach cancer.  The owner of the Canadian lingerie company decided she wanted to show Elly as is.

Her bald head and scar on her stomach were left for everyone to see.  If you take a gander at their website, you will be very encouraged at the use of models of all sizes.  As a side note, there are images of Elly as is, but also wearing wigs and photoshopped.  They do so, because she requested that she continued to be viewed as a model, and not just a model with cancer.

But here's where I'm going with this...

Our culture only values youth and perfection, but I don't.  I smiled at my 31 year old body, because it has experience.  It's traveled with me and been a home for my soul, and I like that there are scars and bumps.  It shows that I've won some, and I've lost some.  Others may look at their bodies and see the battle of the weight, but why not feel proud of the body that has given you so much life?  Do we not respect those with wisdom?  Then why don't we respect our aging bodies?  

Where has your body been?  What do you have to show for it?

Why Marilyn was and isn't a Size 14

This is a short little blog (lots going on in Miss Blogger's world), but I've seen some frustrating posts online (and have for some time) regarding sizing for one particular Hollywood bombshell for quite some time.  I've decided to clear the air for my readers.

Often times when speaking of embracing curves, men and women alike will refer to Marilyn Monroe.  And why wouldn't you?  She was beautiful...and yes, curvy.

Marilyn's measurements are said to have been approximately 34/28/37.  But she was a size 14 (some say 12, some say 16).  So before you go and get confused, allow me to explain.

Pattern companies stopped adjusting sizes in the 1960s, but retail kept vanity sizes changing as we got larger.  Today, Marilyn would be approximately a size 6.  Yes, it's true.  But if she were to make a dress from a pattern she would still be a size 14.

Back at a costume store I used to manage, we had an authentic, vintage 1950's size 8 dress.  The waist measurement?  A whopping 23".  TINY.  So tiny, I never saw it rent, but one time for a middle school production.  And I believe the girl was maybe 12 years old.

I know that citing Marilyn Monroe creates a lot of frustration, because most people don't know the way of the retail/design world.

So to end your frustration once and for all:

Yes, Marilyn was a 14.  And yes, Marilyn is a 6.  Funny the difference a few years can make.

Why the High Fashion Runway Won't Change

We all know that runway models are starving themselves for their jobs.  They eat paper, only drink water, and smoke to help burn away the last of the calories.  But these standards were not set forth by the models, but rather the designers and agencies who employ them.

Last year the Council of Fashion Designer of America, presided by famous designer Diane Von Furstenburg, created a list of regulations to help crack down on unhealthy models.  These regulations monitor the women's BMI, diet, exercise, and age.  Unfortunately, these "regulations" aren't laws, they are merely strong recommendations.

So why do other designers insist on their models being only 13 years old and weighing in at 98lbs?  As a former costumer and designer, it's easy to see why.

They need a living hanger.

I hate to reduce any human being to an object.  After all, wasn't it a curse in Beauty and the Beast??  But it's true.

When you begin designing for real women, it requires much more tailoring and thought.  Not every woman looks good in everything (as we all know far too well).  So how do you make all of your clothes look good no matter who is wearing them?  You make sure the people wearing them don't look like women.  As a designer, especially a very conceited one, you don't want your audience admiring the woman or being distracted by how a certain garment fits on her.  You want the entire focus to be on your work.  Also, sample sizes are just that: they create these haute couture pieces in only one size.  A very small size (less fabric = less work), and you have to fit the dress not the other way around.

In a nutshell, it's harder to design for real women.  And the ego of some designers don't want to think about function.  Imagine all of the stupid weird things you've ever seen come down a runway:

These clothes are their artistic expression.  They can't be bothered with practicality.  If you've never met an egotistical fashion designer, you're lucky.  The ones with egos are unbearable.  And a common trait is "My Way or the Highway" kind of mentality, because the simpletons that the rest of us are don't understand the art that is parading in front of us.

And this is why it won't change for high fashion.  Practical fashion designers are starting to listen to their audience and hiring *gasp* size 4's...on occasion.  But all fashion starts with high fashion and trickles its way down (historically speaking it's always been that way).  So as long as deranged artists are designing, the people wearing the clothes are of no consequence.  They just need a hanger to get their clothes down a runway.

PC Disclaimer: Since no one is EVER permitted to generalize...this is my politically correct statement to ensure my readers that I do not believe that ALL high fashion designers are egotistical and don't care about their models.  However, if the vast majority were not, would we even be having this debate?

 

The "Plus Sized" Stigma

I'm ringing in the new year with my wonderful blog readers!  I took a little time off for the holidays, and I hope yours was as wonderful as mine.  Thank you for supporting me in 2013, and I plan to continue my commitment in 2014 to continue writing.

My blog this morning is spurred by a visit to a website.  I am a subscriber to the site AdoreMe.com.  It's a monthly bra/panties/lingerie website that is like Shoe Dazzle for underwear.  I went to look at my January "Showroom" where they put together styles they think you may like in your size.  Every month, I'm reminded that because I'm a 34DD I am plus sized.

I feel so torn about this term.  Sometimes I feel as though you might as well say, "This is the fat page."  Here is the difference in the models:

"Regular Model"

"Plus Sized Model"

I have to admit, I feel more comfortable looking at the "Plus Sized" model.  I feel as though I can relate to her better, and the set is more likely to look on me like it does on her.  I look at the "regular" model, and I can't relate.  So I like that there different sizes of models.  Gives thinner girls an idea as to what the clothing will look like on them, and my plus size girl lets me know if I am going to look good in what I order.

When you look up the definition of plus sized in the fashion world there isn't exactly one set size.  But a size 8 is considered ideal.  

Size 8.

Now it's easy to say, "Are you saying that size 8 is fat??"  And get defensive about it.  After all, why can't we just be "normal" sized.  Plus Sized models have the same type of requirements that regular fashion models do.  They have to be at least 5'7" and they have to be hourglass.  They're not going to mess with pear shaped, rectangular shaped, etc.  They are still looking for the most beautiful of the beautiful.

But some people don't see it that way.  

Some people see supporting plus sized as supporting obesity.  So I ask those...is a size 8 obese?  I hope not.  I think that's a normal size for some women.  Not all of us are athletes with metabolisms of Olympic proportions.  And a lot of us work...A LOT.  And very long hours.  VERY LONG hours.

There was an Australian blogger who decided to take up bloggers and plus size supporters like myself, and do a mock-up of what a  plus sized Barbie would look like:

I find this beyond insulting.  This is an example of how Plus Sized is equated to fat.  And that is why women are torn regarding that term.  So if I'm plus sized, I've now got more chins than a Chinese phone book?  Last I checked this is an example of a plus sized model:

Robyn Lawley

Are there obese people in our country?  Yes, of course.  We are becoming a large country that struggles with our weight.  But do I believe that being "plus sized" is unhealthy?  No, I don't.  Because your definition of plus sized may be different from mine.

What do you think of when you think of the term "Plus Sized?" Do you picture extreme obesity?  Or do you picture models I've pictured above?  Does the fashion industry feed you the lie that to be plus sized is to be "obese" in order to continue with their one definition of beauty?  They don't want to change.  It's harder to design and dress and real women.  Interferes with their artistic freedom...those curves do.

...but that's a blog for another day....

Sometimes acceptance is adjusting your definition and making your life subjective when your happiness is at stake.