Stop the Fat Talk, Fatty McFatty Fat

In many of my past blogs, I have talked about the power of positive self-talk.  Although my blog is focused on women accepting their physical, so much of our lives depend on the spiritual and mental.

I once heard that it takes seven positive comments to cancel one negative comment.  So this is what needs to happen for us on a daily basis:

But all too often this is what it is like in our heads:

We get so many negative reinforcements for our bodies' imperfections, that it will take time to learn to develop positive thinking.  I don't know about you, but most of my fat talk happens in front of the mirror.  I'll put on a outfit and the self deprecation starts pouring out.

"I look fat."

"I hate these love handles."  (Then I pull them back to imagine myself without them.)

"I can't believe these pants used to fit.  Way to go, Fatty McFat Fat."  (Yes, I've actually said that to myself.)

"So, Miss Blogger," you ask, "what do you find works for you?"  

I generally live my life surrounded by humor.  As my followers know, I am an actress.  My full time job is comedy.  So that's how I deal with it.  I turn it on myself.  I start making making funny faces and acting stupid until I realize how stupid I am in my self criticism.  In other words, I make a mockery of my fat talk.

Now I realize not everyone wishes they were the next Carol Burnett.  But there is power in knowing that the human mind is wired to process negative more than positive.  When you are self aware you can act towards correcting your behavior.  Write post-it notes to yourself and put them on your mirror.  Write things like, 

"You look great today."

"Smile."

"Did you cut your hair?  It really brings out your curves."  (Ok, so that one's my stupid humor creeping back in, but if it works for me why couldn't it work for you?)

Take a look at some statistics:

It is also proven that we believe people who spout negative comments are smarter.  Why?  We tend to believe that someone who can make critical comments have a higher level of analysis than the average person.  Have you ever noticed that most people hate others who seem to always be happy?  They're annoying, right?  And they come across as shallow.  But put a hyper critical person behind a cup of coffee with a dose of passion and suddenly you have the next Einstein.  Sitting in a group of other women and rattling off criticism of your body doesn't make you smarter, wiser, or more self-aware.  You may think they're all thinking it about you, but chances are they weren't analyzing you if they're your friends.  (Strangers will always put down others to make themselves feel better.) 

But guess what Einstein actually said:

That's right.  Psychologists have linked happiness with people who create progress.  But a setback (even a minor one) jeopardizes everything you have created.

Progress doesn't have to be anything big.  It could have to do with weight loss.  Say, for instance, only eating dessert once a week.  (My chocolate monster brain just screamed at me for that one.)

Or make goals at work, with your family, your home...whatever you would like.  When you are creating a life of progress you are creating happiness.  But understand that setbacks are part of life, and this is where your mind is more powerful than the chaos that surrounds it.  

In high school, my photographer teacher was an understated man.  He fought in Vietnam and struggled with dyslexia when no one understood the disorder.  His advice for me?

Happiness is a choice.

My high school brain didn't understand, but as an adult I absolutely agree.  You have the power within your mind to create happiness.  Fat talk will do nothing for you or your life.  Create progress for yourself, and then overcome your setbacks with the mental positive.  

I believe you can do it.  

You are stronger than you think.

And your hair cut really does bring out your curves.

Body Type Stereotypes

There was recently a mother of three who posted a picture on Facebook that created a huge reaction.

I personally believe her approach to encouraging a healthy lifestyle was offensive.  Many mothers of three (and even single women like myself) can think of MANY reasons why it is difficult to get to a gym.  Sometimes I am too tired to get myself to the grocery store much less work out, because I've had four 15 hour days in a row.  I'm not complaining about my job.  I love it, but it is time consuming.  And to have someone flaunt their abs in your face and use a phrase that belittles those that don't look like her is infuriating.

Are we all imposing body type stereotypes upon one another?

Is this a classic case of misunderstanding on both sides?  Is she assuming that you are lazy because you aren't sporting a six pack and headed to the gym 4-5 times a week?  Are we assuming that she's unsympathetic and cruel because she's beautiful and in shape?

Behind every physical is an emotional story.

Maria Kang was banned from Facebook for a short time, because after the backlash towards her photo she then began a crusade against obesity in our country.  Again... she used inflaming language and rather than encourage she seems to always have a tinge of hate towards those that are overweight or not in great physical shape. 

However, if you take the time to visit her website, you will discover that she struggled with bulimia, and is angry that her mother died at an early age with multiple health problems.  Her latest entry is entitled "Sorry but not sorry."  Well, that's not much of an apology.  In fact, it's not one.  

http://www.mariakang.com/2013/11/26/sorry-but-not-sorry/

I believe this woman is merely on a crusade to heal her own personal wounds.  She is bitter and angry at her mother's early death and blames it on obesity.  She is still battling the physical despite that she is healed from bulimia.  

May I say that I, in no way, condone living an unhealthy lifestyle.  But my blog is for the uplifting.  There are times in every woman's life when we will gain weight or lose weight.  But our self importance should not rely on the physical.  Maria Kang is another example how our emotional status directs impacts our physical.  

Take care of not only your body, but your mind and spirit as well.  Don't make assumptions about a person based on the physical.  This woman is not setting people off because of her message to be healthy or her beauty.  To be angry with a woman for that is pure jealousy.  She is angering people, because she is emotionally hurt.  And she is taking her anger out on those that are overweight.  The same thing happens to women who are overweight, and lash out at the slim women who criticize them.

Health is more than just the body.  Just because you are physically fit doesn't mean you are "healthy."  And just because you have a few extra pounds doesn't mean you are "unhealthy."  If you keep your mind and emotions healthy your body image will follow.