Mind the Thigh Gap

I very recently read a statistic that by the age of 17, a staggering 80% of girls do not like their bodies.  Most women can relate.  In fact, I'm not entirely sure that we ever "outgrow" that completely.  It's a sad culture that the majority of one sex is that uncomfortable with their physical selves.  Remarkably, most of it has very little to do with being attractive for men.  It's about being attractive for other women.

We are our worst critics.  In past blogs, I've tried to encourage my female readers to stop and think before you criticize another woman.  In high school, we all know how much worse it is vying for popularity and acceptance.

The newest phenomenon, which I have briefly touched upon in other blogs is the new trend of a thigh gap.

As the above photo indicates, a true thigh gap is when a woman is standing straight up with her feet together but her thighs don't touch.  This is considered very beautiful and desirable for our upcoming generation of girls and perhaps is affecting women in their 20s and 30s as well.

Physically speaking the only healthy way that a woman could achieve a thigh gap is if she naturally has wide hip bones.  I am one of those girls with the "child bearing hips" (thanks, mom).  But most women are not built that way.  Instead their hips are more narrow and thus if they ever achieved a thigh gap they would be underweight.

But take a look at the photos below:

These are merchandising photos from one of my all time favorite online stores, Modcloth.  I love that shop, because they carry a lot of unique clothes that are vintage and geek inspired (that's right up my alley in case you didn't know...).  They also carry some fantastic plus size styles.  But these pictures made my jaw drop.  How horribly photoshopped can one woman's body be?  The underwear photo is ridiculous.  They clearly just chopped the girl's body apart on the computer.  And the bra?  Whose boobs look like that?  Even fake ones?  No one's.  But do teenage girls know this?  Do you know this? After all, you were just shopping online and now this has subconsciously been sucked into your brain as beautiful and acceptable.  And if you order these particular undergarments, this is how you "should" look.

This is what happens when a girl tries to achieve a thigh gap:

Have you ever noticed that we're conditioned to think that we're supposed to weigh less than 120lbs?  All of us?  The lightest I have ever weighed was 135lbs. and I'm 5'4.5"  If I had lost more than 5lbs I would have been considered underweight, although I doubt I ever would have.  I was was pretty muscular.  And eating.  Definitely eating.  

But why?  Why are we "supposed" to be less than 120lbs?  And why are we ashamed when we're not?  Take a quick peek at this tumblr page that is dedicated to thigh gaps:    http://please-thigh-gaps.tumblr.com/

If you think thigh gaps in photos are hot, I would like to give you a good shake and tell you, "It's not real!!"  

Thigh gaps in photos are all about angles, body position, and lighting.  They are not a woman standing straight with her feet together.  When a person becomes underweight it can lead to a whole slew of health problems including brain function and heart health.  Imagine having a heart attack, because you wanted your thighs to not touch.

On a personal note, I've never been fond of my own thighs.  I'm a typical woman.  We all think our thighs are too big.  I'm not sure where we got that idea, but we seem to like it and hold onto it.  And guess what?  Nearly every guy I've dated has insisted they love the shape of my thighs.  Now I can either screw up my face and act like they've taken a crazy pill, or I can realize that they are telling the truth.  Even though I don't feel like they're very pretty when I sit down wearing shorts and see my thighs expand into huge gobs of flesh across my chair.  (Admit it...you other ladies know what I'm talking about).

So I would like to now take this time to readjust our thinking and take a look at some beautiful women rocking some beautiful thighs.

 Elizabeth Taylor

Marilyn Monroe

What is Feminism? **Contains Adult Content

*This blog contains pictures of adult nature.

What is feminism?

That's a loaded question that encompasses many varying aspects.  To try to summarize feminism in one blog would be a bit overwhelming.  However, there was a certain subject brought to my attention that has now spawned this blog.

If you don't know me personally, I'm a conservative woman.  I believe in a woman having the right to choose whether she wants to stay at home with her children or be an equal force in the workplace.  And I believe both are noble decisions.  Sometimes it is up to a woman to be mother, father, and breadwinner for her children.

This blog often chronicles my fight against "the media machine," which often paints an unrealistic image of beauty and tells our young girls to fulfill it.  I like to lean on the positive side and provide awareness of the ideals smothered into the air that we breathe.  In other words, I like to keep it real.

I will never be a bra burner.  I, personally, would like my boobs to stay somewhere in the vicinity of my chest for most of my life.

Most of my time is spent without make-up working hard, but I love to dress up in pretty heels, red lipstick, and a wiggle dress.  That's what makes being a woman fun.

My mind has been cranking around a certain feminist who is causing an uproar.  Her name is Petra Collins and she contributes to a women's blog on the Huffington Post website.

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/petra-collins/why-instagram-censored-my-body_b_4118416.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false)

 The two of us have many things in common when it comes to our beliefs of the damage that the Hollywood machine produces.  The over-sexualization of women is a large component of what we share in our beliefs.  And yet I hugely disagree with how she chooses to conduct her battle.

The article above chronicles how her Instagram account was shut down for this photo:

As you can tell from the photo, she has decided to go "all natural" with her personal grooming and is showcasing said decision.  She is personally offended by the commentary of people on how disgusting it is, and puts the blame back on the people making the comments.  Finger pointing aside, I ask of her, "What do you hope to accomplish with this photo?"  I would think her response would be something to the affect of, "I hope to break down the walls of stereotype and force people to accept something outside of the norm as beautiful."

She is also known for a controversial t-shirt wherein a drawing depicts a woman sexually pleasuring herself while menstruating:

As a fellow woman, I feel embarrassed.  

To me, this is nothing but convoluting the fight.

Let's refocus, ladies.  And I do mean it.  Let's be ladies again.

How can we ever expect to receive respect when we don't show ourselves respect?  Use your brains, your wit, and your abilities to accomplish great things.  Be a woman of charity and kindness, not a facilitator of controversy.  Be beautiful without belittling the temple that is your body.  Own your rights to your body from the beginning when you make the choice to be sexually active.  Reserve the right to say no, because you're a woman who wants more than a one-night stand.  Don't wait until you're already pregnant to decide to take responsibility for the gift of motherhood.

Think of the most powerful women in the world.  Do you think they would ever be associated with things so crude?  Consider any First Lady or world leader.  It would be beneath them, and it should be beneath you.

That doesn't mean you can't be pretty or sexy, but we all know that line between self-respect and none.  Your vagina has nothing to do with equality.  Isn't that the point?

So put it away and start looking up to better role models.

Video Retouching Leak

I've written in my blog about photoshop and how it is used rampantly in magazines.  Not for small things like pimples or bruises, but for major body touch-ups.  I don't think anyone is surprised by those adjustments.  We live with it, we know it exists, and yet it still gets under our skin.

There has been a leak from Hoax Films regarding the latest Britney Spears video, "Work B*#ch."  The studio allegedly pre-released some scenes from the video prior to the official release date.  After the video was released audiences began to notice that Britney was noticeably better toned and in better shape than the clips.

In the past Britney Spears has actually come forward and chosen to show altered photos of herself seen below:

She has spoken out against photoshop in the past, although her team of producers, managers, agents, etc., would never allow her to be seen without digital alteration.  But I find this latest expose shocking.

I honestly did not think nor consider the idea that film would be digitally altered in that way.  We already know that reality TV is far from reality.  Now we're learning that film is farther from reality than we could think.  Those stars moving around on your television and movie screens are altered.

Altered.

On a personal note, may I say, that's not fair.  It's not fair to the public.  It's infuriating how much of an ideal is set before us and is sold and created as being true.  It's no wonder that so many eating disorders exist.  Not even these stars look the way they insist they do.

At award shows, don't be fooled.  Those celebrities have spent literally hours being tucked, pinched, and layered with make-up to appear perfect.  They've gone through crash "cleanse" diets.  And, of course, never rule out plastic surgery.

This is an intriguing article to read regarding the film altering industry, which is kept extremely hush hush:  http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/burning-britney-spears-only-star-put-digital-diet-014519004.html

We can't unlearn what is our culture.  It's permanently ingrained in us what is considered beautiful and perfect.  There is a part of me that wonders if Britney Spears purposefully let this leak.  She's been vocal in the past, and she is one of very few stars who has openly shown before and after photos.  Could this be her under-the-radar way of telling us how it really is?  Who better to trust that the one that nearly lost her mind due to the industry?  She would know best.

With this knowledge, how does that make you feel?  I feel cheated and lied to.  Granted, I understand that these celebrities are in great shape, especially since the camera really does add ten pounds.  But, again, we are being fooled.  Hollywood is selling us a fantasy, and we're buying it as reality.

We can't trust anything we see.

That weighs in my stomach like lead.

Lies at every photo.  In every film.

Where does it stop?  Or is it what we want?  Do we like buying the fantasy?  But the real question remains: do we really know where reality stops and fantasy starts?  And if we don't, what unfulfillable expectations have we created for ourselves?

Fat Actress

I first hit the stage at age 11.  Twenty years later, I'm still acting.  Anytime I see a stage, I have this internal need to be on it.  I'm one of those people who (I believe) was literally created to do what I do.  I don't think that's egotistical to say either.  It's in my blood.  I've fought hard in my adult life to be where I am today: performing, managing a theater, and providing entertainment year round.  But there was one point in my life when I almost quit it all.

After graduating college, I started auditioning for local theater.  It wasn't easy moving to a new city by myself.  Theater is a very small world and I was having a hard time being given a chance.  I did just enough to be one of those freak stories where I was seen on stage and the next day I had an agent.  This was the ultimate dream for a recent college grad.  But the rose colored glasses were shattered quickly.

It didn't take long for me to see the underside of the entertainment industry on a small scale.  Dallas is by NO means L.A., but it was enough for me.  When you are in your in your 20s in entertainment, you have to be beautiful and sexual.  If not, you won't get much.  That's the reality of it.  I found myself calling up my agent prior to a callback for a national host position, because I didn't believe in how it portrayed women.  They were bikini clad and taking body shots off of each other as they giggled.

With a small athletic hour glass figure, I was edited out of a test shoot for a possible national commercial because I was "fat."  There were other factors that quickly led me to the conclusion that film/commercial was not for me.

You may have recently heard Jennifer Lawrence reveal to Harper's Bazaar that she has been called fat. This was prior to her "Hunger Games" fame.  She's honest about how it hurt and still stings to this day. I have to admit, I have a big girl crush on J. Law.  One of the things that I, and most of her female fans, like about her is her irreverence for "the machine."  She's quirky and weird.  Definitely doesn't fit in.  And she's beautiful, fit, and FAR from fat.

(For more about her interview, click here: http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/jennifer-lawrence-being-called-fat-extreme-way-she-161505732.html)

Other actresses/entertainers have been called fat, such as Christina Aguilera, Christina Hendricks, Ashley Judd, and Lady Gaga just to name a few.  Remember Tyra Banks and her infamous bathing suit photo?  Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson were attacked for the weight they gained while pregnant.

There isn't a lot we can do to the stop the media machine.  For whatever reason, it is convinced that beautiful equals underweight.  Some days I consider that it might have been cowardly for me to quit film/commercial rather than fight.  I had an audition not too long ago (the first in YEARS in that medium), and all I could think about was how "fat" I was compared to the other women.  I've gained weight since my size four days, and I can't imagine myself ever being cast in a film or commercial now.

Since we can't stop the machine, we need to focus our thoughts against it.  It's easy to inhale what is on TV or the internet, but stop before you criticize next time.  What if you were in their position?  What if your weight defined you even more than it already does?  What if your job was determined by how much you weigh?  What if you lost your job because you gained 10lbs?

What do you think of the critiques of these entertainers?  Do they deserve that pressure as a sacrifice for the money and fame?