Hello my blog readers!!!
It has been over two years since I published my last blog. And wouldn't you know I quit just before it started catching on? I just discovered that my last blog in March of 2015 has been read over 6,500 times! That's a lot for little ole me. I've had a lot of people ask me if/when I would continue my blog. So here it is. Unfortunately, I can't tell you the writings will be consistent, but here it is nonetheless.
First, I will start by saying that the last two years have been very challenging. One of the owners of the company I work for and (subsequently) my mentor at work, passed away from ovarian cancer on August 22nd. I had a different blog in mind to write tonight, but then I realized that I have something else weighing on my heart that I need to pass on to all of you.
Through those two and half years of cancer, we watched as a woman that we loved lessened physically. She lost weight, looked flushed, and (towards the end) was merely an inkling of the vibrant physically fit person she once used to be.
The last time I saw her was a conscious choice on my part. She was just about to go in for brain surgery. Another tumor had appeared...this time in her brain. There was only one doctor willing to operate. When I went to see her resting at home the day before the operation, she slept most of the time. For the brief moment she was awake, she apologized for not being awake more. She apologized that she wasn't available to hear about all of the exciting things happening in my life (new house, engagement, etc.). She said she was working to keep her strength for the surgery the next morning. I told her there was absolutely no need to apologize. Her cheeks were swollen and flushed. Her arms were so frail and thin. She was having difficulty staying awake for long bouts of time. So I told her to rest. And then we hugged and said our final words to each other:
"I love you."
She lived for another six weeks or so, but I didn't see her again. I wanted that to be my last memory. A memory of a final, "I love you."
So many people can relate. So many people have lost a loved one to cancer. Just in January, I lost a childhood friend to cancer. She still lived in my hometown (a five hour drive away), so I didn't get to see her as often. But there was a final video she created to update her loved ones on her health status. I remember thinking how pale she looked. And swollen. She didn't live long after that final video. Again my heart broke. Not too long after, another mutual friend posted our senior high school class photo on Facebook. The beauty of social media. And there we were. Sitting side by side front row. Smiling 17 and 18-year olds, unsure of our future.
All of this say, readers, don't take your body for granted. It's not an object. It's a gift. It's a temporary vessel, but it is perfect in its imperfections. Whether we lose or gain weight. Whether our skin is dark or light. Whether we have acne or eczema. Whatever shape your body takes, it is beautiful. It is beautiful, because your heart beats. Because your lungs breathe. Because your legs walk. Run. Jump. Think of all of the amazing intricacies of your body. All of the tiny mechanisms it performs everyday to give you life. It's a blessing.
We will all start to lose our faculties one day. Your body will start to fade. So, today, when you look in the mirror, think about all of the wonderfully fantastic things that you can do because of your body. Be grateful. Be thankful for it. For its service to you. For the opportunity this shell has afforded you to take this journey through this horribly beautiful thing called life.
