We have a History of Dysmorphia

body dysmorphic disorder

 noun

: pathological preoccupation with an imagined or slight physical defect of one's body to the point of causing significant stress or behavioral impairment in several areas (as work and personal relationships)

The other day I was picking up something for work.  As I jumped into my car and turned the key to start the engine, I looked up and my jaw dropped.  

Walking into the store that I had just left was a woman of approximately 45 or so.  She was clearly anorexic.  And I'm not exaggerating.  She couldn't have weighed more than 85 or 90 lbs and she looked to be at least 5'7".  She wore a t-shirt and jeans.  I suppose it was an attempt cover her frail body.  I wasn't sure how she was walking.

It was one of those moments where I screamed in my head, "Somebody help her!  She's clearly dying.  Are we going to just sit back and watch this woman walk around when she is so obviously committing a slow and cruel death to her body?  Would we let someone walk around with a gunshot wound and do nothing?"

Of course I know it's not realistic for someone to stop her and make her go to a hospital, but I wish it were possible.

Obviously anorexia is a severe eating disorder.  It's a physical manifestation of the emotional and psychological warfare going on within the person's head...and soul.  

Unfortunately, I think each of us women have a touch of that thinking within us.  Body dysmorphia is much more common and is dictated by our unique cultures.  You see, us ladies, have never been happy with our natural bodies.

As soon as our sewing techniques developed the corset began.  The enlightenment of the Renaissance quickly started the era of the corset.  Although through the hundreds of years the shape of the corset shifted, it was always present.  The attempt was to maintain a waist of approximately 17"-19".  This was the effect:

                              

 Pregnant ladies were to stay in the home until her baby bump was gone.  In fact, in Victorian times it was considered inappropriate to see a noticeably pregnant woman in public.  With that in mind, the women would wear their corsets as long as possible causing damage to the baby.  Even men during the Victorian era wore corsets.

With the roaring 1920s women rebuked the standards and wanted to rid themselves of such restraints.  They went the opposite direction.  They wanted to look more like men.  Their silhouettes were straight up and down.  They didn't want curves to be noticeable at all.  They chopped their hair off and hated large breasts.  The straighter your pearls hung down your chest the better...meaning the flatter the better.

The depression was a game changer and as the wars started, women went back to their roots of being the caregiver or going to work while their husbands fought.  As the men came home, femininity was more important.  We started to like and appreciate curves.  In fact, women were trying to gain weight to be curvier.  Bullet bras and undergarments helped keep the body in perfect curves.

As women craved more independence and rights, we stripped ourselves of our undergarments and went free.

This is when I think we started down a different path of dysmorphia.  Now we have Spanx and other polyester helpers, but we revere "true" beauty as a woman who doesn't use any undergarments.  We now believe that Playboy defines beauty. And guess what are the beauty tools of choice.  Photoshop.  Plastic surgery.

Not that the previous variations of body dysmorphia were healthy for the human body in any way, but now we have a greater mind game involved.  

We must be perfect naked.

So we stand in front of the mirror and start to pick apart our bodies.  We look at Spanx as cheating.  So now we're resorting to knives and starvation as our corsets.  Always in search for perfection.

I do it too.  I'm super guilty of standing in front of the mirror and pushing my love handles back so I can't see them.  I've been told, "You're the perfect candidate for lipo suction!"

Um, thanks?

Whatever this is in us women that feels this need to alter our bodies has always been with us.  You're not alone.  You're not a freak.  Your imperfections are perfectly normal.  Those models with the airbrushing are the "freaks."  Meaning, they are unusual.  They are certainly beautiful, and I don't want to dismiss beautiful healthy women at all.  But with our world shrinking, the media can find the most beautiful women in the world and flaunt them as "norm."  It's a psychological game that we fall into on a daily basis.  

Define your own reality.  What is your "norm?"  What can you appreciate in the world's most beautiful women?  More importantly, what can you appreciate in your own beauty?  In the women in your real life?  Take a moment to look at another woman's flaw in a positive light.  Don't judge her out of jealousy or hate.  Find her beauty.  The more you find beauty in the flaws of the women in your own life, the easier it will be to appreciate your own flaws.  You will slowly start to redefine your reality and your normal state of beauty.  We have been fooled.  Beauty is not just physical.  Beauty is mental.  Emotional.  Psychological.  

Beauty is what you define it to be.  Your own beauty is defined by you.